7 Easy Ways to Encourage Toddler Independence
I know first hand that teaching a toddler to be a helpful, independent little human is NO easy feat. Phew! BUT, it’s definitely super important and can be done at home through your normal day’s activities.
So, here are 7 easy ways I’ve found to encourage our little guys and gals to have a helpful heart, even at a super young age, while developing more confidence and independence too! We’re working on these ideas at home with our little guy right now. :) I’d definitely recommend choosing one or two ideas to start with and then adding more on as your tiny one is ready.
1. Let them help you.
Many things you’re doing around the house are simple, easy things that your toddler can help you with to help them learn how to do them independently one day. Unloading the dishwasher? Let them put away the spoons or plastic stuff! Starting a load of laundry? Let them help sort the colors or throw the clothes in the washer! It’s really easy to let them pitch in, even in small ways, to help get things accomplished and this sets them up to be able to do those tasks more independently in the future too.
Giving little ones choices is a PERFECT way to give them a small sense of control. A lot of their lives are dictated FOR them…when they eat, when they sleep, what they do, and where they go are all decided by parents and caregivers. So, when you can give them a choice between 2 or 3 things when it’s appropriate, it communicates to them that we value their opinion and respect that they have ideas to contribute too.
Some ways that we give choices in our house are allowing our two-year-old to choose his pajamas before bed, books he wants to read, which shoes to wear, what shirt and bottoms to wear for the day, where he wants to put things, which activity he wants to do, and what he’d like to eat. I would definitely recommend choosing two options (MAYBE three options for older toddlers) to let them choose from though. I think it would be overwhelming to just ask “What do you want to wear?” Instead, we choose two shirts and let him pick which one he wants to wear for the day. As he gets more experience with making those kinds of choices, we’ll add in another option, eventually leading up to him choosing his own outfit from his drawers independently.
Another way you can give choice options is by using a choice board! There are choice boards available for a HUGE variety of topics, but we use these free indoor/outdoor choice boards and these other choice boards for literacy, math, science, and fun activity choices. Choice boards are such a simple way to give little ones choices in their learning and activities too! Snag the free ones HERE!
3. Give them age-appropriate “chores” to do.
Giving your little one age-appropriate ways to help out around the house is a great way to show your confidence in their abilities AS you teach them how to complete simple household tasks. Here are some ideas for tasks that our little guy has started doing around the house at 2 years old:
Help load the washer, switch clean clothes to the dryer, and “fold” the laundry
Help put away dishes that are safe for him to handle
Put away his own shoes and toys into bins
Put books back on the shelves where they belong
Water the outside plants
Do some learning time with Mama
Pick out his clothes and do his best to get dressed in the morning (this one is new…still working on it!)
Help take trash bags and recycled objects to the big cans
Now, he definitely doesn’t do ALL of these chores every single day, but when they come up and he’s in a mental space that he’s willing and able to help out a little, we work on these things. He normally totally LOVES to help out with things, so it’s usually a happy experience for every one. :) We use this little visual chore chart to keep track of what he’s doing to help out!
4. Show them how to do things correctly.
Handing out a TINY bit of responsibility to your toddler is amazing! But, modeling how those things should be done is a perfect place to start when teaching your toddler how to do them independently. I would recommend showing your toddler a few times in a row (3-5 times) when first showing them how to complete a chore. Then, if you still have their attention, allow them to do it once or twice. If they’re bored and ready to move on, you can do something else together for a bit and revisit the chore when they’re more interested. But, when they’re ready, let them do it a few times while you do the same thing WITH them. This is a great way to keep showing them how to do something without giving them direct instruction. They’ll build independence by watching you complete the activity with them.
5. Create a predictable, daily routine.
Setting up a toddler’s day so that they know what to expect throughout the day is a great way to help them feel secure and confident. Being unsure of what will happen next can cause anxiety, so creating a simple, daily routine that you follow FOR THE MOST PART is a great way to set your little ones up to be more successful. Of course, life happens and days can’t always go as you planned or expected, but setting up a predictable routine with normal daily events is great to have for the normal days. :) And if you can make the daily routine super VISUAL for your little ones, including pictures AND words, that’s even better for their understanding of the day. We use this daily, editable schedule for our every day routine. Little Man just takes off the part of the day that we’re doing next and off we go! :)
For more tips for how to create a simple routine for your little one, check out THIS BLOG POST.
6. Let them practice…a LOT.
Repetition, repetition, repetition. Toddlers need to do, say, and hear things a LOT before they internalize them and can use them independently. So, just be ready to do the tasks and activities you want your little one to learn many times (sometimes many times in a ROW) before they’re able or interested in doing it by themselves. Give them many opportunities to practice their new skill, complete their new activity, or learn the new concept. Read the book AGAIN, stack the blocks AGAIN, put the toys away AGAIN…doing things on repeat is a great way to reinforce the new thing.
7. Allow for mistakes.
Many little kids truly want to do things correctly and make the people around them happy. They don’t WANT to do things incorrectly and it can be very frustrating for them when they don’t do things the right way. But, they’re also very new humans…they don’t know which buttons do what and where things go all the time. They’re don’t have TONS of experience with their muscles and coordination and gravity yet, so spills and falls and oopsies are GUARANTEED. So, just remember that it’s okay to make messes. It’s okay that things break sometimes. What’s MOST important is that your little one knows they can come to you and ask for help when they make mistakes, feel overwhelmed and frustrated, or don’t do something correctly. You’re their safe place, so do your best to stay calm, use encouraging words, and help them clean up the mess. My dad always told me, “People" are ALWAYS more important than things.”
I hope you can take one or two of these ideas and use them with your little one to help them learn to be more independent each day. Like everything else, playing and working independently isn’t something that will just HAPPEN…it needs to be modeled and encouraged and taught to our tiny toddlers. Please let me know in the comments if you have more ideas for helping your toddler grow into a independent, confident preschooler.
Cheering you on!
