6 Ways to Empower Your Toddler
Most parents know that power struggles with a toddler are REAL. Like, OMGOODNESS. Toddlers are at that stage in life where they’re developing big feelings and ideas of how the world should be, but haven’t quite learned how to respond when the world doesn’t go the way they expect it to. Cue the complete-meltdown-tantrum. *Mama buries face in hands.* We’ve all been there a MILLION times, right?
I LOVE the idea of empowering our little ones from a young age and communicate belief in them from the very beginning. I’m not always successful and STUMBLE through it every day, but these are some strategies that are helpful with my kiddo to reduce power struggles and empower him to do things that may feel hard for him now, but I know he is capable of. So, check out these 6 strategies that help me empower my toddler in small ways every day!
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1. Offer options and choices.
POWER. Starting at the age of 18 months, my little guy started showing me that he wanted to have a say in things. Where we went, what we did, what he ate, all the things. And as this kept becoming more and more common, I realized it was about POWER. My toddler wanted the power to make his own choices and make life happen the way he wanted it to.
My first strategy is to OFFER OPTIONS AND CHOICES to your toddler as often as possible. I recommend keeping it to 2 or 3 options and to make all options lead to what YOU need the outcome to be. So, your toddler needs to have shoes on before going to the park. You can offer a choice that will get you there no matter what: “Do YOU want to put your shoes on or do you want ME to put your shoes on?” Or “Do you want to put on your black shoes or your blue shoes today?” You’re giving him that tiny bit of power by giving him the final say, but either way, you’re accomplishing what you need to have done…shoes on. :)
I use toddler-friendly choice boards with my little man at home to allow him to choose activities we do throughout the day. I only include options I’m comfortable with him choosing and he feels good about getting to decide what he’s doing with his time. It’s a total win-win. :) You can grab free choice boards here!
2. Create a predictable routine.
Setting up a routine for your days is a great way to cut back on the tantrums and empower your toddler to move confidently forward into the day! If little ones know what to expect from the day, they feel secure and safe, instead of anxious about the unknown. Setting up a predictable routine for their day helps them to know and mentally prepare for what comes next. We have a simple, visual routine posted in the kitchen that my little guy uses to mark off the parts of his day and to see what comes next. It’s an easy way to help him feel safe and know what to expect going forward. :)
Need a few tips for how to set up a routine for your toddler? Gotcha covered!
3. Set up expectations.
This strategy is a long-term strategy that usually starts off slowly, but will eventually be super helpful. Before we start an activity or head into a situation that I know may trigger a meltdown, I will calmly explain the expectations of the activity before we start. I may tell my little one the amount of time we’re going to spend, what activities we ARE or are NOT going to be doing,
We use these simple “first, then” boards to show Little Man what’s going to happen first and what will happen after that. The thing we do first MAY be the fun thing he wants and the “then” thing might be something he needs to be prepared for to happen afterward. OR, we might use it to get the hard thing done first in order to EARN the happier “then” thing. I definitely think it’s effective both ways, so use it however works best for your little darlin’.
4. Use visual reminders.
When teaching little ones, it’s always a good idea to use visual supports to reinforce your words. Many toddlers DO understand your words and their meanings, it can be REALLY helpful to solidify the message if there is visual input to support the auditory input. Sort of like how “actions speak louder than words” or “a picture’s worth a thousand words”, using visuals to reinforce your point is always a good idea.
There are visual timers that use lights to show how much time is left on timers, you can give hand signals to remind how much time is left or as a quiet reminder to change a behavior, or you can hold up small picture cards to remind kiddos what’s expected. I’m a big fan of using visuals to communicate with little ones as much as possible. It’s an effective way to offer reminders and communicate expectations, while empowering them to make that good choice.
5. Find (and praise) the good.
This seems easy, but it’s SUCH an effective way to communicate to your toddler that they are AMAZING and are doing a great job. I KNOW it’s super easy to only offer redirection when you notice your kiddo doing something they shouldn’t be doing. But, what if you started noticing when your little one used a toy correctly? Caught them sharing with a friend? Gave them a quick hug when they clean up after themselves and you feel proud? When you start noticing all the little things they are doing well instead of just expecting them to do those things, they feel appreciated, seen, and empowered to do more things like the ones that earned them the reinforcement. I’m practicing noticing and encouraging the good things too because it’s easy to miss all the things they’ve learned and are doing a great job with. :) Our kiddos are doing a LOT of things well already, so let’s snuggle and praise them equally well so they feel seen and noticed for working hard!
6. Give small responsibilities.
One more way I’ve found to empower my toddler is to give him small responsibilities that I know he can do independently and make him feel like he’s contributing to the family just like we do. We have a toddler chore chart set up in the kitchen next to our daily routine. These “chores” range from putting his toys and books away to helping me throw laundry in or work in the kitchen! And, he feels so proud when he’s a “big helper” that he runs to his chore chart and pulls of the chore that he did. We don’t schedule them in to be done EVERY day necessarily, but when we have some free moments to get some things done, we do. And those little responsibilities help my little man feel like he’s a “big kid” and is helping out the family…and him wanting to be helpful just makes my mama heart SO so happy too.
I hope these strategies and tips help you empower your toddler and help them develop confidence, kindness, and a helpful heart! Feel free to leave a comment if you have other tips for empowering your little one and cutting back on power struggles! I’d love to hear your ideas too. :) Sending you lots of love and patience vibes…you’ve got this!
Cheering you on!
